YOU CANT STOP MY GO
Forbes Heaton on Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 9:25pm
The last two years of my life have (without a doubt) been the hardest and most difficult...
I graduated high school in 2007 with little to no respect or belief in myself. Despite being raised in a safe nurchuring home by my loving parents and given nothing but complete and utter support in my endevours, I have allways been afraid.
Its been difficult for me to pin-point exactly what I am afraid of? However, from what I can tell its a fear that is present in all human experience.
For me, I struggle with being self-aware. Being absolutely concious of the moment at hand and being able to analyse every situation. More importantly, the ability to measure success, recognise my "faults" and compare myself to others.
This (to me) feels like such a burden in this material world. Whereby success and worth is measured by a thing or object. In latent terms: "The more you have, the "better" you are. I use these "Quotation" marks to make it clear that these are subjectable words and phrases. Meaning, they are arguable and not absolute.
Western society has established a system that is functional but far from ideal and in this society we are raised (from birth) to believe: "This is what it means to be successful" There is allways a person or a thing that represents "Success" and so we idolize and worship these people and things. For a young girl it could be a supermodel or a youngman a sports star?
For me, it was musicians, actors and movie stars. This, natuarlly was the case because I have over my years developed a love for creativity and self expression. However, the important thing to remember is that these "people" are no different to you or me. They are exactly the same, HUMAN and the most severe problem we have in the world today is the fact that we are measuring ourselves (through our self-awareness) to the achievements and attributes of others.
I for one, am incredibly guilty of this. I have for so long, compared myself to others, measured my "worth" againts them and have lived a life of complete and utter insecurity because of it. The strength of this fear is so resiliant that even as I write this, totally aware of the problem I am addressing, I still cant entirely releave myself of it.
My twenty years on this Earth have presented me with so many obstacles. The reality of life and that I am mortal. The realization that everything comes to an end, even the Universe and life itself.
How can I maintain my sanity when iv built my life upon trying to achieve imortality but at the same time, be completly aware that nothing will last forever?
Its believed that in billions and billions of years from now that the Universe as we know it will die and everything we have come to know in this life will be gone. If this is true, then no song, no poem, no movie, no book, no medal, award, prize or MONEY will survive and therfore nothing we do in this life can trully be imortal.
So what do we have?
The answer to this question is that we have this moment. This oppurtunity, this ability to live and just BE. Some people (in my opinon) go about this the wrong way. They adopt a sort of "Me againts the world" mentality. Whereby nothing really matters so "Im" just going to do what I want, regardless of the consequences.
This sort of mentality and way of life is damaging, for, it has no regard for the people that have to live on this Earth after us. There are still generations and generations of lives to be lived and we cannot throw away their future so easily. I believe that we have an obligation to each other as people and we have an obligation to protect this precious world we live in.
To think, the possibility of other life in the Universe is astronical, though the possibility of intellegent life evolving to the incredible heights we have are grim in comparison. This alone makes us unique and fills me with a sense of pride, accomplishment and more importantly hope as a human being.
You cant stop the rain from falling. You cant stop the sun from rising and you most certainly cant stop my GO!
